Series Intro

I love R-O! And I want him to love me back, but the truth is, R-O is not obligated to love and marry OBGs. (R-O is the archetype for the type of Black men I fall for, and OBG stands for Original Brown Girl.) He’s entitled—just as we are—to his preferences. Right? And if this is so, shouldn’t we just accept The Reasons, let go, move on, and quite possibly be alone? Maybe The Reasons, the petty accusations that R-O uses to eliminate OBGs in conversations about love and desirability, are legit. These are not my accusations, but go with me on this. Is it true that after hundreds and thousands are spent, R-O still can’t run his fingers through our hair or tug on our wigs when making love? Is it true, although it shouldn’t be a factor, that we are super independent? Is it true that we are hiding who we are under layers of “shit” on our faces? And is it true, on some level, that we are loud, are aggressive, are angry? And not just that—if R-O says, “What I need is a pretty woman next to me,” and most of society concurs that, all things equal except her skin tone, a light-skinned or white woman is prettier… what then? What if OBGs, as ludicrous as it sounds, don’t understand how to treat a man? If we examine The Reasons —which means if we examine ourselves—is it plausible that we may uncover truth in these accusations that are so often hurled in our direction like grenades meant to blow us apart—and, frankly, get rid of us? Sure, it’s possible. But also conceivable is finding the understanding we need to win his heart. But not the least of these is the possibility of finding the strength we need to stop sacrificing our essence for the sake of R-O, a Black man who will never choose us. So, be ready to comment, share, and build community as we dissect The Reasons that answer the question: Why Don’t You See Me?